Jaken's Modern Life
by BlondeGurl9
Summary: Jaken, Kohaku, Rin, Sesshomaru and Kikyo win a family trip in a raffle to a luxury spa in Hawaii. For Jaken, this is fantastic news! A holiday meant lounging around in the sun, eating delicious foods and meeting lots of women! But when you're Jaken, things don't always go according to plan; especially when you've got Sesshomaru for a father in modern day times!
1. Chapter 1: The Boat

**Hi guys this is my second story, my first one didn't go as well as I thought it would, so I decided to try something new.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.**

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Chapter 1: The Boat

Vomiting noises came from the Ferry toilets; Jaken was being sea sick again. His face was a disgusting shade of green but it was always that colour anyway, so you couldn't really tell the difference.

He plodded over the moving floor that was being rocked by the waves.

"RIN?!" he shouted.

The boat began to rock more violently making him feel even sicker.

"This is worse than the time I kissed Lord Sesshomaru's feet, that was vile!" he cried.

"Jaken? Where are you, Jaken?" came Kikyo's voice from a few feet away.

Jaken sighed; Kikyo had left Inuyasha for his older brother; that's women for you.

Kikyo came into view, "There you are, have you seen Rin?" she asked.

Jaken shook his head.

"I'll look on the other side of the boat, then." she said gently.

* * *

Sesshomaru was walking around the ship looking for his wife, Kikyo.

"Where could she be?" he thought to himself.

A few minutes later he ran into Jaken.

"Where's Rin and Kohaku?" he asked the water imp.

"Well, um, uh…." muttered Jaken, hanging his head in shame.

"DON'T TELL ME YOU LOST THEM, YOU SILLY FROG!" shouted Sesshomaru.

Jaken bowed his head apologizing and pleading for his life.

Sesshomaru pulled out Bakuseiga then hesitated.

"I don't have time to kill you, but if you don't find Rin and Kohaku then I definitely will!" shouted Sesshomaru, walking off.

* * *

"Rin, we should go and find Lord Sesshomaru and Lady Kikyo now." said Kohaku.

He looked around, he was completely alone.

"RIN?!" he shouted, as he began to hear creaking sounds.

"Rin, is that you?" asked Kohaku nervously.

He picked up a metal pipe to defend himself encase it was a psychopath. Suddenly, a figure jumped out!

Kohaku let out a very girly scream.

It was only Kikyo.

"Hey, it's just me! Is Rin with you?" asked Kikyo.

"No! I can't find her anywhere! One minute she was with me, then the next she was gone." said Kohaku sadly.

* * *

Jaken was walking along the top deck of the boat, when he bumped into a little boy.

"Out of my way pest!" Jaken shouted, only to end up feeling bad as he had just offended pestkind.

"Shut up, short stuff!" the boy yelled back.

"SHORT STUFF!? FOR YOUR INFORMATION, MY MUMMY SAYS I AM A HEALTHY, GROWING BOY WHO ALWAYS EATS HIS VEGETABELS! I BET YOU ATE TOO MANY, YOU LOOK LIKE A BEAN POLE!" screamed Jaken.

Jaken then grabbed the young boy…..

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Sesshomaru had no idea where Rin or Kohaku was, so he decided to go to customer service and ask the lady behind the counter if she had seen them.

He gave her these descriptions;

Jaken – An ugly, walking frog with wee stained trousers and smells of broccoli

Kikyo – A beautiful young woman with long, black flowing hair and smells like perfume

Rin – A pretty looking young girl with an orange checked dress on

Kohaku – A snobby looking young boy with his hair in a silly ponytail, that he should have had cut at the barbers many years ago

"I know where the walking frog is, he's with the captain because he threw a young boy over board in anger." said the lady.

"HE DID WHAT!?" shouted Sesshomaru, getting out his whip, "WHEN I FIND HIM, I'LL WHIP HIM SO HARD HE REALLY WILL WET HIMSELF!"

The woman looked slightly afraid.

"I mean I'll give him a loving pat on the back." he said, redeeming himself.

"We're docking in five minutes, now can someone please come and collect this smelly frog?" shouted the captain over the microphone.

* * *

Sesshomaru walked towards the lady and saw that she had found Rin; he ran straight up to her and pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Where have you been? You're filthy and your clothes are all ripped!" he cried out in horror.

"Forgive me, my Lord! I fell down the toilet and got into a battle with the King of all poop! It was a fight to the death!" cried Rin.

Jaken walked over and burst out laughing only to receive a big slap in the face from Sesshomaru.

The lady from customer service stepped back, what and abusive father!

"We have docked! Now get off my ship so I can watch the new episode of Tokyo Mew Mew in peace!" cried the captain.

Everyone walked off the boat but not Jaken, he danced. And he fell.

"JAKEN!" shrieked Sesshomaru, pulling out the whip.

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**Thank you for reading the first Chapter, please review if you enjoyed it! See you next time, bye :)**


	2. Chapter 2: Hula Dancing

**Hey guys only one review so far from HappyCookiie: [enjoy the newest chapter on with the story:]**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.**

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Chapter 2: Hula Dancing

It was a hot and sunny day on the sandy beaches of Hawaii. Sesshomaru was relaxing, topless on a deck chair with a glass of champagne in his right hand.

Jaken asked for the waterproof umbrella, in case it rained.

"Master Jaken. We're on a luxury holiday, where the weather is almost guaranteed to be sunny every day. So, why on earth would you need a waterproof umbrella?" asked Rin, confused.

"The only think you'll see falling from the sky here, is ashes from the volcano!" grinned a random man, approaching them.

Sesshomaru looked him up and down before stating, "Your body isn't _nearly _as nice as mine is! Just look at my mighty abs!" he shouted, proudly rubbing his toned stomach.

Kikyo giggled as she agreed, "No-one has a body as nice as yours, honey."

Sesshomaru pulled Kikyo towards him and kissed her, the man walked off because he felt awkward.

"Volcano? AARGH WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Jaken screamed, running around Rin and Kohaku's giant sand castle. They stared at him as he fell to his knees, pleading to the Gods for his life. Why was he bothering?

"The Volcano hasn't erupted for centuries now, Jaken. Shut up." Sesshomaru said, not looking up from reading his women's gossip magazine.

"Oh." said Jaken feeling stupid.

* * *

"Under the seaaaaa! Under the seaaaaa!" sung Jaken.

"You really like Disney's 'The Little Mermaid', don't you?" asked Rin, sighing.

Suddenly five women wearing grass skirts and pineapple bras came onto the beach stage, singing and dancing. Jaken leapt up onto the stage and sang and danced along with them.

It wasn't long after, that he realized he needed a bathroom break, he held it.

After dancing hard and long, his bladder was at the bursting point. He just couldn't hold it in for any longer!

The Hula dancers all stepped back in disgust; some even fainted.

Rin looked at his feet and turned to Kohaku, "Hey? Did Master Jaken go into the sea and not dry off properly?" she asked.

"No, why?" Kohaku asked her, confused.

"Uh oh. I think he might have wet himself again because his trousers look very sticky and soggy." she replied in a worried voice.

"HE'S BETTER NOT HAVE!" shouted Sesshomaru, standing up which caused everyone to stare at him.

"It's a shame we ran out of diapers, yesterday." said Kikyo sadly, shaking her head.

"Well then, Jaken! Your punishment is to walk _all _the way to the store and buy some more!" laughed Sesshomaru, "And you have to wear those pants you have on now!"

Jaken shrieked in horror! After a huge tantrum, he stood up and walked over to the store in his wet underwear.

* * *

When he finally arrived at the store, he went and looked in the babies section.

There were no boy diapers left… only girls DryNites. He was going to regret this.

He slowly approached the counter and put the diapers on the desk, trying to hide his face.

"Good afternoon, sir. Are these for your little sister?" asked the lady in a friendly voice.

Jaken paused, "No… they're for me." he muttered.

"Oh." she said, embarrassed, "I'm sorry miss, I thought you were a man."

Jaken gasped! He was no woman!

"Excuse me! I am a _man_, just to let you know!" he shouted up at her.

She was rather alarmed at this, "Forgive me! But why are you buying girls diapers?" she asked in a worried voice.

"MAYBE, BECAUSE I WANT TO! DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?" he shouted, causing everyone in the store to stare at him.

"No uh…" she started before she looked down at his bottoms, "Oh, I can see why you need them now!" she shouted in realization.

Jaken's face went red as everyone in the store laughed at his wet trousers.

"Just sell me the diapers." he asked.

* * *

When he got back to the beach; Sesshomaru, Kikyo, Rin and Kohaku were all playing volleyball. Kohaku hit the ball with some force and it fell in the sea.

"I'll get it!" shouted Sesshomaru, leaping up to fly. He fell flat on his face; this was in the modern day world, people didn't go around flying. He cursed.

They all looked over at Jaken, who was now wearing his fresh new nappy.

They grinned.

"NOOO!" cried Jaken as he was thrown into the sea.

"Fetch the ball, sweetie!" shouted Kikyo.

When he returned, he was covered in bruises and had crab ear-rings; his new diaper was wet through… but it was yellow.

"JAKEN!" shrieked Sesshomaru, grabbing a nearby rock.

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**Thank you for reading chapter 2, I hope you enjoyed it. I'm going to try and put on one chapter every day. See you in the next chapter :] **


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